Thoughts of Life

I realized.. You didn’t defend for me, you didn’t stand up for me. You just agreed with him, you agreed and even put in your own thoughts to it. Do you really believe that? Do you think I’m incapable of doing these things? Am I really just that much of a failure that not even you could defend for what’s good about me?

Just you, talking to me about how much fun you just had with your family tonight. What you guys do as family, playing tricks on each other, having many laughs together, going out to eat dinner together.
It just makes me sad, and I hate that I feel like this; But I’ve never had experiences like this, and when I think about it, it just makes me feel like shit. I hate that I never have family time, nothing. It makes me fucking jealous…

It all just sounds so fun, and nice, and it seems all peaceful..

I’m really debating to ditching the rest of the week of school… I don’t want to be around people. I don’t want them trying to cheer me up, or talking to me, or asking questions, and bugging the fuck out of me… I don’t even want to do Badminton for awhile… sdfghjkl;

Happy fucking emotion.

That’s when I do most of my thoughts, most of my thinking. Sometimes Most of the time I hate the thoughts that pop up. & other times, it helps guide me in the right direction.

Better not go out and do stupid shit, and go to those damn underground parties.

I thought it would’ve been better than how it actually turned out, but hey, I’m caring less and less about it, finally getting used to it.. 

Enough said.

& tonight.. wow. okay. whatever. I wasn’t talking to anyone tonight, but you.. ._.

but okay, believe what you want.